The return of Sam Redbay 2 Redbay's joke on Riker goes on as planned
by Laserwhip50
Summary: Redbay plays a joke on Riker. he gets Janeway, Picard and others in on it


Sam went to work on his shuttle doing repairs when someone came through the door, It was Picard. "Lt Sam Redbay, As I live and breathe, I missed you". Captain, Permission to speak freely?". "Always Redbay. "Sir, I have been in space for 30 years on my own. I have seen many wonderful beings and saw starnge sights. But I yearn for earth sir, I have been a liutenant long enough,I was hoping for a promotion, But I found that since I was declared dead long ago, That will never happen, My career in starfleet is over, Done, washed up and the only things I have are a rebuilt shuttle and my rank. I keep hearing duty, honor, sacrafice but does anybody recognize what has happened to me, MY SACRAFICE, MY DUTY IS NOTHING ANYMORE! I AM DONE HERE". "How dare you talk to me that way Redbay, How can you talk like that to me?". "When I got word that I will never get a promotion, I went crazy, I was hurt at what was said. When Voyager arrived on earth, they all got promoted for spending a few years in deep space, but me , I got spit on, And thrown out. You have no idea captain Picard what I went through, My duty is nothing but a goddamned joke to you high ranks". "Leutennant Redbay, what are you saying?". "Oh, I thought I just made it clear to you sir, I feel that I am no longer useful to the federation, I deserve a promotion, Not being spat upon and put into the ground (And he spat on the floor). THAT'S HOW IT FEELS CAPTAIN PICARD. Thats how it really feels to be tossed to the side like trash. Now leave me be".

Picard said "Get me Admiral Janeway, Now". "Sir, she is not there, It was reported she went to the federation council to have a meeting with staff about Redbay". "Then find the next admiral or whoever is in charge, I want to do some talking". After a few hours Janeway called Captians Picard and Riker together. "I have some news for Redbay, Where is he?". "More than likely sulking in his shuttle" Vale said. Janeway became angry " COMMANDER VALE! BE QUIET". "Now I ask again, Where is Redbay?". "In shuttlebay 2 admiral. He is very angry with this whole situation. He told me that despite 30 years of deep space exploration, he is not getting a promotion like your crew did, He will not be easy to talk to for quite sometime". Janeway asked "I know, I told him that to get him off the trail so to speak, I wanted him to know he has set a new startfleet record for the longest space exploration ever done by a starfleet officer ever. He is getting promoted to captain and will be offered a chance to command a starship. Now find him and try to calm him down, Janeway out". captain Riker looked at Vale and said "If you ever talk out of line ever again, I will bust you down to ensign fast, Understood?". An alert sounded. "Sir, there was an unauthorized launch of a shuttle from bay 2". "Is it Sam Redbay?". "Yes sir it is, and he just went into warp last heading is earth". Riker said "Jean Luc, I think the admirals little joke went too far". "Agreed captain Riker, But now we have to find him and get him to his senses". Lets get the ships ready recall key personell and get under way to find him". "Riker, send subspace messages to his shuttle and explain everything, I'll try as well, I am still his commanding officer". The Enterprise E was going at warp 9 as well as the Titan, they should have caught Redbay's shuttle by now, Then his neice came to the bridge and said "Sir, My uncle is a very stubborn man, I can talk to him, I beg you to let me try, Please?". "Ok liutenant, Give it a try he might listen to you". "Thank you sir". "Uncle Sam, It's me Sparks, Your neice, Please respond, Quit being such a stubborn mule about this, The admiral was only kidding". "Sir, we have a message that just came through". "Well, read it ensign". "Sir it just has one word". "Ok, whats the word?". It reads "BULLSHIT!". "Is he cloaked?" "No sir, he's well ahead of us". "Then overtake him and stop in his path". "Aye sir". He changed course, still on a heading to earth at warp 9.998, he engaged his cloak". "I know you can hear me uncle, I know you are not this type of person". "Sir, his shuttle reduced speed to warp 8". "I think I know why he's not responding to hails much, He is being blocked by the Titan". "Get me their captain". "On screen sir". "Will, are you blocking his transmissions from there?". "No but I found out who was, and she has been reliveved of duty untill further notice". "Sir, the shuttle went back to warp 9.9, we lost him captain". "Then set a course for earth, maximum warp engage, and get me Janeway again". "He landed already in Nevada somewhere near Washoe lake, How angry is he Jean Luc?". "Very angry about your joke Admiral, His neice tried to talk to him and that did'nt work". "Ok then. I'll go and talk to him, I'll meet you and Riker at the landing site, Janeway out. Picard and Riker and Janeway went off to find Redbay in the hills near Washoe Lake Nevada. They found his shuttle, all systems were shut down. Just then, His neice beamed down from the Enterprise and helped with the search. She said "Sirs, I know where he's going, There is a cave not far from here where he and my mother played as children". So they followed the ensign to the mouth of a cave, She said "Stay here, I'll call to let you know". She found her way in and saw her uncle crying in a corner of the cave. She said "Uncle, it's me Sparks". he looked up and said "Hiya kiddo, been a while. I have not seen you since you were about 5 or 6 years old, And now you're in starfleet, sad really". "It's not that way uncle, The admiral and captains Picard and Riker are at the mouth of the cave waiting for you. Please come uncle, what Janeway said about you getting a promotion is true, no bullshit either". "Go and let me be, I was betrayed by the duty I swore an oath to and got spat on and chewed up. Just leave me". "Ok uncle, If thats the way you want it, Goodbye". and she left. she got to the mouth of the cave and stood before the three and said "I tried to talk to him,he's in there crying, I sense anger and regret from him, but he is being stubborn, just like my mom". Then she lit up and said "That's it, my mother can talk to him, she might be the only one, Permission to try sirs?". she called the Enterprise and had a message delivered to her mom who was beamed over in minutes.

"Where is my stubborn yet dead brother at?". "In the cave mom". She looked at the three officers and said "Good joke on him, You three just broke a proud man, I don't know how you did but you did, I think I'll need a laser drill just to get through to him". and she walked off. Admiral Janeway asked "Is your mom always like this?". "Not usually, only when someone bothers family, her and my uncle used to be close when they were kids, Now he looked like a man who cheated death". Then they heard a scream "SAM REDBAY YOU STUBBORN ASSHOLE GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!". the others sat the mouth of the cave stunned at the profane language used. Redbay came out and then his sister. They looked at Janeway and Picard and all four started laughing. Then they said The Jokes on you captain Riker, You have been had". Then Deanna came out followed by Vale who were lauging. Riker just did not get the Joke. Then Riker asked "Whats so funny everyone?" Redbay said "Will Riker, you have been had by us, think of it as a welcome home gift from me to you". And Sam redbay gave Riker a hug and said "I really did not punch Christine at all". "But I saw the punch and then her head went back, I saw the damage to her face after you hit her". "But I didn't hit her, It's an antient Hollywood movie trick, and your doctor was kind enough to get in on the joke and made her up to look like that. Then your wife got in on it then I asked my old co for a favor and he came through. The Joke was hatched the minute I was told about the promotion, so Admiral Janeway and I had the joke so planned out". captain Riker said "So what does that mean Sam?". Redbay walked away from the group about five feet turned and said "Ladies and gentlemen, The best Joke played was the one that never existed in the first place" and bowed before them. Captain Picard said "That was the funniest damn thing in years, Well done Redbay, Well done indeed". They shook hands. Captain Riker said laughing "I will get you for this Sam, I don't know how, But I will". "Hell, 30 years in deep space and I still have my humor, Life is wonderful. Oh by the way, Will you be attending the ceremony for my promotion?". "We will be there". "Admiral Janeway, what will be my assignment?". You will Take command of the USS Andromeda currently docked at McKinley station next Monday. "Yes admiral, and now I would like to start the de beifing as soon as possible, 30 years in space is a long time. Riker shook his hand and said "I did miss you Sam, Congratulations on the promotion". "Thanks Will". "Commander Vale, I would like to thank you for your help in this little joke". She looked at him and said "Captain, It was an honor to be part of an elaborate joke, well done". Thank you. Riker looked at them and said "I thought you both had a falling out years ago?". "Will, I never met her untill I got aboard the Titan, Then she loved the idea". Redbay was laughing very hard. I forgot to ask. "Where is Worf at?". "He's on DS9 for a short leave". "Don't tell him I am back, I want to go there and suprise him, Nobody say a thing. I promised him we would share bloodwine together after the fight, And I will keep my end of the bargan


End file.
